Valentine’s Day Vortex

Que pasa amigos!

So as always I’m doing something crazy and I’m inspired to write. Im scrolling down my time line on instagram and see all these Valentines Day posts. All these girls posting about how they aren’t getting any gifts and all kinds of stupid shit. Now don’t get me wrong,  I love romantic stuff. I’m the definition of a hopless romantic, but that’s the thing I know hopless romance. So of course me being who I am, I’m anti Valentine’s Day. (Pause for dramatic reaction of sappy girls). Now when I say that most of my friends’ reactions are ” Seriously you don’t like Valentines Day. Tasha you’re so heartless”. And its only proper that I bust the hell out laughing like I just saw a boogerwoof ( a young woman who is from the hood who does “rachet” things) with a bad weave. I’m not heartless. OK well I am heartless, cause if you ask 95% of my stank ass friends they’d beg to differ ( love you though). I just have my reasons. Hey guys guest whats coming next…………..Damn right a list of shit! I love lists

1. Its a waste of money! People go all out for this holiday. If half you dick heads stop watching these commercials you’d have money to pay your bills the next week. They buy balloons, candy,cards,flowers and take the broke asses to Jared. What ths hell is wrong with you guys, do you not know that shit cost money that you may need! Half of ya’ll so worried about Valentine’s day that you’re starving yourself to make sure its perfect. Eff that I like food waaaaaay more then the dude im talking to right now. Sorry boo you’re fine and a great person but food been in my life for 23 years.  I’m not going to stop eating to save money for one damn day. Its a stupid choice. Set a budget and keep it. If you’re just starting 200 if fine, thats dinner maybe flowers and a movie.

2. Ladies this shit is a trap!!!!! Ok now get with the program if ya’ll been talking for like a month and he trying to give you the world. That crumb snatching joker coming for your cookies. And most of ya’ll probably mess with hood boogers anyway ( young men from the hood with no COMMON DAMN SENSE). Most of the stuff they do on February 14th,  you’ll never see that shit again. Like I mean NEVER! Why because they’re not into that kinda shit they’re only working hard so they can get they key to the bakery. They arent buying panties from Victoria’s Secret cause they like you. Those dick wads are setting you up the kill. DUH!!!!!!

3. Its so cliché if you’re in love: guys think is just the smartest thing to propose on holidays. People always tell stories like ” On Valentines Day he took me out to a fancy restaurant and got down on one knee”. In my mind I’m like, ” Bro shut the hell up I heard tnis stories 6 times this year already your man lacks creativity” TC, Erica and I can come up with some way more romantic shit then that with our damn eyes closed. Don’t use Valentine’s Day as a starting point, as a woman im going to tell you its the stupid.  Be creative wait until after Valentine’s Day hell its better becuse its unexpected. Sheesh do I have to teach you everything damn!

4. If you truly love someone you’ll show it all the time: Ladies get sucked into rhe commercial vortex that is Valentine’s Day. If I love someone like truly love them, I’d show them all the time. There are 364 other days im the year to go all out for someone. You can buy them flowers just cause. Write them a love note cause you love them. Take them to the movies. Use those 364 other days not just this one. This bull shit comes around once every year why wait. Again my generation has this love shit backwards.

5. You guys are setting a high standard that you probably can’t keep up: People have expectations, if you go big that day they are going to expect it evey holiday. And if your bum ass can’t deliver then you look damn stupid. If you guys are  just beginning to date start off small. Don’t go so hard in the beginning. Remember don’t “Hi-Ho Silver”  just take it easy.

Now granted ladies and gentlemen im not completely anti Valentine’s Day, I just think people put too much time and money into one freaking day ITS 24 FREAKING HOURS. And you have 364 other days use those days too not just this one.


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