The Rules of Dating

OK so I’m 23 years old and there is no handbook floating around with the Do’s and Don’ts of dating and who the hell am i to make them ( I’m so nontraditional my ancestors are pissed at what i do) I’m a firm believer in things will happen on there own time So i decided to list some of the things i will or wont do when i first start talking to ( or getting to know) a contender

1. I only text first in the beginning: why the hell am i waking up in the morning and your the first person i text EVERYDAY relationships are 50/50 this shit here is a test. Am i really the first place your mind goes when you open your eye. Or do you just say that crap to make a girl feel good. Eff feeling good i can do that my damn self

2. DO NOT kiss within the first month or two of talking: some people think I’m crazy for this because i could have sex before i kiss someone (not saying that i do) but my lips are like the key to my damn soul. Kissing someone means i trust them. I have no doubt in my mind that I’m the only girl your putting you mouth on (in EVERY aspect) regardless of who texts you i know that its me you share your nasty cooties with.

3. HELL NO YOU CANT SEE MY PHONE: would a dude just openly pass you his cell phone and be like “here boo look at my pictures and my texts and my call log” Hell no he wont so you don’t let him go through yours he does NOT own you and he is NOT your boyfriend SHIT HE DONT PAY THE BILL FOR THAT IPHONE SO LOCK THAT SUCKA.

4. Let him think he has “bagged” you: guys have this thing about them. They have to feel like “yea she came floating over here to me like a fly to a pile of shit” when in all actuality you have been plotting on that ass since the first day you seen him. And you have only been talking junk to him to get him interested. I mean come on ladies we all do it. That bullying stuff don’t stop in middle school.

5. If he acting like he don’t want to get to know you: refer to my initial blog Friends With Benefits cause he don’t want to get to know from the outside in he trying to turn your insides OUT.

Ladies if you follow these simple rules you’ll be on top of the game.

Until next time

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